Sunday, September 19, 2010

Struggling

There is nothing I can do to change things. I just have to accept the decision he has made to cut me out of his life. It hurts so much. Some moments are better than others, but mostly I feel like trash. I don't understand how people can throw out people who show them nothing but love and care. Apparently, I am not good enough for him and he told me that we have no future together. I just can't get my head around this. I treated him so well and he made promises to me. Will I ever be able to trust anyone? I thought he was like me, someone who gives 100% to a relationship, someone who doesn't give up and tries to work out issues and solve them with their partner.

I can't date anyone right now. It only reminds me of how much I miss him. It's not like he cares how I feel, but I wish he was really who he said he was. He wasn't.

I hope we can be friends someday. I think he is going to need one. Unfortunately, I have this curse where I love those I love forever. It never goes away. Unfortunate because I think people take advantage of that in me. They aren't there for me, but I am always there for them.

I wish I could meet someone who loves like I do. I need my lifemate. I feel so alone.

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