Tuesday, October 28, 2008

New Moon Tonight!

There is a New Moon in Scorpio tonight at 7:14 p.m. This is significant of beginnnings and possibilities.

"If we consider the combination of the New Moon’s sense of being pregnant with
possibilities and Scorpio’s capacity for regeneration, we begin to get an idea of what is ahead. Of course, since it is Scorpio in charge, it’s very likely something will have to be released or die before the new can emerge."

From: Real Astrologers

It is a time of quickening. Much like pulling the elastic band back before letting it go.

Time for diligence and letting the things that hold us back dissolve. Moving forward, take aim and...steady.....

Monday, October 27, 2008

Cheating on Myself

The only one I cheat is myself. Okay, so I read, but is reading global conspiracy trash on the internet actually reading? Oh, and I practice. But is staying in the view while I manage to deal with inept sentient morons at work, actually practice? Yes, I did do a workout for at least 20 minutes, albeit, not yoga. However, I am writing....this, anyway.

Someone once told me I was "exempt". I know what they meant, and it was profound and mystical. Now, whatever they meant by that it hardly matters when one is not satisfied with one's self. I have always stood at the edge of the cliff awed by the splendid scene before me. Yet, I indulge in my fears, too timid in my spirit to become one with that splendour. Oh what I have held myself back from. What have I denied to let myself become. And for what? For who?

Tonight, I feel a bit lost. A bit like I have lost. I wonder where my fight went? I wonder where my passion and fire went? As a Buddhist this is supposed to be good, right? No, not in this way.

When he cheated me, I started cheating myself. Yeah, I am him. I am just like him.

I take my fire back.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Goals & Preparation.

The weekends are often spent preparing for the week ahead. Making sure everything is clean and in it's place. However, rarely does everything get done. Still, I need to persists while I have the energy to do so. Come November, there are going to be many changes in the world that will be a bit of a distraction. So, I am creating my goals and preparing to meet the challenges

Each day I will do something that contributes to my success in all areas. I will start small because I find most of my time recently has been spent catching up rather than moving forward. This is a conscious effort to move forward. These are things that I need to do for myself.

Daily Goals
  1. 20 minutes doing yoga every morning.
  2. 30 minutes doing spiritual practice in the morning.
  3. 30 minutes of reading.
  4. 30 minutes of writing.
  5. 30 minutes doing spiritual practice in the evening.
  6. Go to bed no later than 10 pm.
  7. Wake up at 5 am.
I need to insure that I get at least 7 hours of sleep a night. It is better for the metabolism and concentration.

Warrior form needs nurturing.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Young and Rich? Ohhh....Jung & Reich

Ninja in Kimono

I had a wonderful dream:

Someone passed a beautiful tunic to me made of gold and pink brocade. I put it on and of course I could fly. It wasn't a surprise to me. I knew it was a magickal robe. It was called a "Ninja Kimono", or perhaps, I just thought that is what it looked like. Unfortuntely, I felt undeserving of it. I struggled with keeping it.

I wonder why it is that I don't think I am good enough to have fine things. Part of me can not deal with the guilt I feel from owning such lavishness. Perhaps, it would help to remember that no matter how lovely or precious everything is still impermanent - even fine silk brocade kimonos, or our precious lives. Maybe, if I think like that I won't put too much importance on some things and not on others.

My dreams teach me that I am my own saboteur. Life hands me beauty and I feel it is too good for me. This is changing, now! I cannot continue to exist and feel this way. Too much is at stake, including my child's life.

After all, my friends see the potential in me, why can't I? One of dear friends from Montreal had a dream about me, too:
You were rich from writing a book and you looked beautiful and had beautiful children.

That is what she told me. Although, I have no idea why there is an implication of children, rather than child, I do know that I have been told by many, many people that I need to write.

So, it is time. I have to make these dreams reality. I had an image come to me last night of each negative thought I had being armour plating. Much the same as Reich had suggested of the protective layers we develop as we grow.

Reich decided the patients' body language could be more revealing than their words. He observed their tone of voice and the way they moved and concluded that people form a kind of ARMOUR to protect themselves, not only from the blows of the outside world, but also from their own desires and instincts. Most of us desire something, and immediately set out to find ways NOT to get it! Reich saw this process working in the body. Over the years a person builds up this character armour through bodily habits and patterns of physical behaviour.

Interesting man, that Reich.

That soft, vulnerable feeling is the key. Nothing to fear.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Positive Charge

Just surfing around the web and I came across this page Changing Your Lifestyle. This seems quite appropriate for what I am trying to do with my life.

Here is another site about The Law of Belief. Brian Tracey states on this site:
Positive thinking can sometimes be wishing or hoping. But positive knowing is when you absolutely know that no matter what, you will be successful
This is what makes the difference between my successes and simply my attempts at success.

I am going to try these two exercises that Tracey recommends:
First, continually repeat to yourself the words, pictures and thoughts consistent with your dreams and goals. Whatever you repeat often enough, over and over, becomes a new belief.

Second, set a goal for yourself to think and talk only about the things that you want for the next 24 hours. This will be one of the hardest things you ever do. But if you can keep your mind on what you want and off of what you don't want for 24 hours, you can begin to change your entire future.

Away we go...!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Thanksgiving and Wealth - Part II

This is my new gratitude blog. To spend five minutes a day just to think about what I am grateful for and remind myself how wonderful my life is. Despite all the stresses and things I don't have, my life is full of goodness and possibilities. Focusing on what I "lack" is only empowering lack. Misery certainly loves company, but so does happiness. It is all a matter of attracting what we are giving over our attention to. I am choosing to attract more blessings and keeping myself focused on that. The "law" of attraction states that "like will attract like"

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Thanksgiving and Wealth - Part I

So, here it is. I have decided to extend my publicized efforts for financial freedom to my magickal life. I am going to start with this coming weekend, as it is Thanksgiving. It is this concept of Gratitude that creates the room in our life for abundance. So, this is my intention for the coming festivities.

1. Invite my best friend and her kids over for a feast on Sunday.

2. On Saturday, I am going to do a thorough cleaning of my home and body with housework and a 24 hour fast.

3 Gather together all the food and offerings for Sunday.

4. Make a list of everything I am grateful for in my life.

5. Make a list of everything I am grateful for that is coming into my life.

I will post more on the actual details of the events for the weekend later. Right now, I just want to explain the significance of gratitude and how this works. Number five on my list is very crucial. It is important to be thankful for that which hasn't even manifested yet. Being specific is helpful too. "Universe, I am thankful for the raise/promotion/windfall/business deal/etc..." This of course, works with all aspects of your life too. Being thankful for an outcome that hasn't happened yet will make room in your life for that to happen. Your mind will be much more open to it because you can already see it and feel grateful for it. The Universe will bend to your will if you put this intention out there. Just believe it!

My Job

I know I simply state "Corporate Slave" on my profile, and in a way I am. However, it is just tongue-in-cheek as I really love my job. I am a receptionist at the corporate head office for a company that has about 250 long-term care facilities and retirement homes. Not exactly glamorous, but it is kind of fun and it pays the bills.

My job also gives me a feeling of accomplishment everyday. I have many varied tasks and a lot of people depend on me to do my job right. I really get a good feeling when people are satisfied with the work I do. I have to order everything in the office, from stationary to coffee. I code invoices and make the schedule up every week. The best thing is a mobile phone with a headset that I have so, I am never stuck at my desk. I can go all over the office, (and it is a big office!), and do whatever needs to be done...or just chit-chat with friends. :)

Someone just asked me to work on a PowerPoint presentation. I hoping that one day they ask me to be her executive assistant, but in the meantime, I am making myself useful.


Monday, October 6, 2008

It's Not a Secret Anymore!

With all the hype about book titles (and claims) such as: "Think and Grow Rich, "The Science of Getting Rich" and "The Secret", which was based on the latter two, one would suspect that the general public is beginning to grasp something so very dear to financial infrastructure - It is pure thought.

Now as a Buddhist I tend to believe that everything is, at it's most basic level, a thoughtform. In our present day, regarding the financial state of affairs in North America, and the global economy as well, it is a crucial point in the hypnotic wordsmithing of politics in the media.

If what you believe is truly what you create then the daily crushing words of financial experts and "Wall Street gurus", (not to mention President Bush who has never done anything but deny, deny, deny), will be self-actualizing drivel.

I am not a financial expert, but why save a system that clearly is not working?

Since I believe in "As above, so below" and the reflection of Macro-economics in micro-economics, (and vice-versa), something doesn't add up here. The one thing that the Macro has is much grander resource. Where does all that money just disappear to?

Regardless, I think that the hype is poisoning people an d making them fearful, thus creating the very situation we wish to avoid. You see, you can't think and grow rich, if all you are thinking about is how poor you are! That is the the "secret", right? So, despite what experts, gurus and outgoing, has-been Presidents have to say stay focused my dear reader. You will not perish.

It is precisely this kind of negative self-talk that we do to ourselves that defeats us from moving forward and drives our emotions to make ridiculous choices for ourselves.We are the doomsayers of our own mind, our own lives. It is easy to fall prey to this with most of the media that we absorb emitting this type of toxic programming. The program can be changed and reacting to the fear isn't going to help.

No, I am not surprised at all that single mothers get depressed, or that parents who lose their life savings and feel the poison of that loss in their bellies decide to commit suicide. No, it doesn't surprise me. However, if they could just remember that money is just based on thought and try to turn their thoughts away from the poverty mind. It may or may not make one rich, but at least they won't be so down.

Wealth is out there and I will be dammed if I let the news or talk show hosts determine my mind set. I won't let the oppressive beauracracy of social programming - ouvertly meant to help citizens - determine my mind set. I won't let the status quo, stereotyping and gender bias tell me who I have to be. I will live as an exception to "their" rules.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Finally I have a job. Why don't I feel better?

I have been very busy since I started my job in June. I moved to a bigger apartment because with the little money from OW, all I could afford was a tiny one bedroom for my son and myself. Even that place exceeded the limit allotted by OW for rent.

I finally have a decent home and a reasonably well paying job. Yet, with rent taking up over half of my earning after tax, I am still having trouble making ends meet. This is not a new phenomenon. Getting off of OW was hard enough, now I fear I won't be able to maintain that which I have worked so hard to acquire. It's not like I go on shopping sprees or hang out at bars drinking. Still, I find myself needing to borrow money and take out payday loans to survive. What I have to do is get another job. It is like the society we live in expect there to be two incomes per household, and that is that. It is no wonder that even the goal I reached by getting employment still hasn't eased my anxieties about the survival of my family - my son and myself.

Actually, according to E. L. Lipman, D. R. Offord and M. H. Boyle, in the Canadian Medical Association Journal single mothers are:
...more likely to be poor, to have an affective disorder and to use mental health services than mothers in 2-parent families. The risk of mental health problems is especially pronounced among poor single mothers. Further studies are needed to determine which aspects of single motherhood, apart from economic status, affect mental health outcomes.

From: Single mothers in Ontario:
sociodemographic, physical
and mental health characteristics

None of this really surprises me.